Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com
When does having an active kid become bad for family time? Now I know most parents would agree activity is great for kids versus sitting on the couch watching TV or playing video games but where should we draw the line with activity? Now I have a 13-yr old daughter who is very active with sports with everything from Martial Arts to Cheer and many other sports in between but I’m not going to lie its stressful at times and cost a small fortune but just like most parents I look at the benefits not the bad things. So, I started thinking how does the overactive kids effect family time long-term? and is it worth it? So, let’s talk about the pros of active kids
- Keep kid fit/active
- develop friendships/social skills
- keep busy with structured activity
- helps to develop talents/passions
- learn to push yourself/discipline
- help to relive overly energetic kids
- build self-esteem
- Improve job/school prospects
- Learn new skills
- Helps parents feel good that they are participating in kid’s activity/life
Now as a parent I can agree with all these pros and I can even say most are why I signed my kid up at the young age of 6 for her first sport which was cheer. I had a kid who had exercise induced asthma and I was looking for a way to help build her tolerance to activity without coughing spasms and sports especially outside sports seemed great. I can also agree it made me feel great as a parent that on Saturdays my kid was not just sitting in front of a TV eating snacks and I also was a proud mother every time she succeeded or learned a new skill. All these things are great for her and us as parents it opens up a whole new world for her with sports as she gets older and helps to build friendships outside of school for more social interactions but at what cost? Let discuss what too much activity can do…the cons
- More friends= more playdates/birthday parties invite
- poor eating habits
- strain on family relationships/resources
- low energy/sleep deprived
- strain on school (grades, work, social interactions)
- struggle with verbal and creativity
Now before anyone attacks me and say none of this is true this does not apply to every kid or every family but there are families who have several kids and these children are in several sports and most of this these negative things affect them. I will speak on my family and what the impact of having a kid who participates in multiple sports have on our family. The more sports or activities your kid joins the more friendships he/she will develop. This means more party invites, playdates, sleepover’s, gifts for holidays that need to be purchased and kids you must learn to keep up/interact with their parents. This becomes a job within itself. I can’t tell you how many kids over time I have met along with their parents and can’t remember how I know them or where I know them from. let’s not forget the parents you now have to deal with that you are not fond of but because your kid loves their kid you are instantly linked. Than the eating habits… it’s a lot of eating on the go if you are a busy parent this means a lot of trips to fast food or quick oven meals because you are home either late or leaving very early (kids in weekend recreational sports). So, you are no longer getting many homecooked meals with veggies/fruits just whatever you can feed your kid and you in the car fast or cook within 15min once at home. Yes I know if your kid is active all the carbs are not too bad for them but what about us parents who are just carting them around and sitting and waiting we are the ones losing because we are tired and eating a lot of junk that normally we wouldn’t eat but because we have no time or energy we consume it. Now its bed time and if your kid is like mine they have homework, showers, and bed time routines that now need to be done and we are already late getting home due to a meet or game that ran over or started late so now your kid and you are getting to bed late and rushing through study/homework time. This long term can cause so many issues in families because you are no longer sitting down as a family for dinner or family time so there is no discussing of your day or interactions with friends at school. So, if problems are arising at school socially you are not aware until they are pretty bad. Mom and Dad are having less time together and kids are having less time to just be kids and do things like play, create, think without being told to perform. The kids are having less time with friends or family members outside of their sports/activities because there is practice, games, meetings, etc.. These overactive kids are no longer spending time at Grandparents homes on the weekend, camping, riding bikes, watching Saturday morning cartoons they are too busy with sports and activity to enjoy normal kid activity.
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not pulling my kid out of her sports or taking a hiatus but after reading a few articles on this and living it I know that having a very active kid has its pros and cons. In my family we only have one child and both her father, and I have jobs that are flexible enough to fit the activity schedule and still allow time for family time here and there. We try hard to sit as a family at least once or twice a week for dinner. We use the time in the car to and from sports to talk about the school day, friends, work day etc… Most sports are played through school, so we usually have the summer for family time. We try to utilize summer free days the most we can with things like going to the movies, travel and talking with our kid. I say all of this to say active or non-active kids and families need time to just enjoy and relax. Kids should not be required to be so overactive that they are not properly sleeping, eating and having a normal social life. Sports and activities should not be used to babysit your kid this is time for the kid to develop new skills or increase their level of a skills they have already. This is also a great way for social skill building outside of school but when you have a kid who is over worked, tired and agitated this does not work out well and just causes the kid, parents, coaches and team members to become irritated with your child(we have all seen it happen that one kid that no one likes to see show up). So, keep the kids active within their limits and only allow them to do sports and activities they enjoy not what you want them to enjoy. Also keep sports/activity within the family budget don’t go without or take away important things like family vacation to pay for sports/activity because it’s probably not that important to your child. You had your chance to be a kid let them enjoy theirs.
Enjoy your Sunday and don’t forget to Follow, Like and Comment. Love you guys.
Coffee & Conversation 