Category: Parent

Great Reads for Nights by the Fire
books · family · Parent · Uncategorized

Great Reads for Nights by the Fire

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So, it’s been a while since I posted on this blog. Sorry it has been a busy few months, a mother’s job is never done. So I’m back with some great books for your cold winter days and nights when you just want to snuggle up with a great book and cozy blanket and let your mind wonder off to a new adventure or a place other than the stress-crazy-chaotic life you are currently living. Let’s be honest that’s why most of us read to escape to a place where we can be or do anything we would never do in our real lives.

My first book With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo is one that I just finished and let me say this book took me by surprise with its inspirational story and relatable characters. This book is listed under Young Adult but make no mistake this book is relatable no matter what age because let’s be honest we have all been young or moving into becoming a young adult .

Emoni Santiago the main character takes you through her ups and downs as a high school senior with a small child, a Hispanic grandmother who is fighting her own struggles while raising Emoni a child she never asked for and a father who fights everyone’s fights but his own. Emoni reminds you what it’s like to have a dream. She aspires to one day be a great chef. That dream seems unreachable at times, but she is reminded by family and friends to keep dreaming until it becomes her reality. Through this book you will remember what it’s like to be a child again struggling with moving into adulthood and making decisions that will set your course adulthood. You will walk through shoes of a young woman who is not only making tough decisions but doing all this while dealing with family, financial, relationship, friendship and racial struggles.

This book for me was like reading poetry at times. Ms. Acevedo helped to paint this beautiful picture with many colors and emotions through her story of Emoni Santiago and her need to reach people through something as simple as food. This book was a great read for me, and it open me up to a new author Ms. Elizabeth Acevedo who has other books The Poet X, Beastgirl and Other Origin Myths, Clap When You Land and I’m sure more to come.

The next great read is a series by Alexandria House the McClain Brothers series. This is a steamy romance series that is sure to turn up the heat in the room. This series is 4 books about brothers Everett, Leland, Nolan and Neil and their stories of ups and downs while perusing the women in their lives.

Now I know most people don’t like romance books because they tend to be really cheesy and over the top but this series gives you real life with a touch of cheesy over the top “I wish my man would do that” romance and lots of steamy sex moments that would make even the most experience adult blush. I recommend these books if you are looking to mix it up or just dream of Mr. Right. Alexandria House has other series, but I have yet to check out any other books by her. Ms. House knows how to bring the steam and romance and I will be checking out more books by her in the future.

The last book I read was one I just finished it was Monday’s Not Coming by Tiffany D. Jackson. This book deals with friendship, loss, abuse and love. Reading this took me on an emotional roller coaster because when you think you have what’s going on figured out Ms. Jackson throws you for a loop in this book and you find yourself learning a different path and more about the main character Claudia and her friends. This book touches on so much of what’s going on in today’s world how we are so busy and have been taught to be emotionless and mind our own business that when things happen right under our noses we don’t even see it or we see it and ignore it because it’s not us. I suggest everyone reads this book. I know it’s a Young Adult book but how can relate to our kids, talk to our kids, or understand our kids if we don’t read, watch and discuss what they go through, see and talk about every day. Great read for all adults and young adults alike.

“FIGHT OR FLIGHT”
Advice · family · Parent · Uncategorized

“FIGHT OR FLIGHT”

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“Fight or Flight”

As I was reading a book this saying came up “Fight or Flight”. It started to make me think how this can be applied to our everyday life. I’m a mother and with the tone of our country as of right now I find myself always having to explain something in the news to my daughter or teach her something based on what’s going on around us. One subject that I found that touched on this subject of “fight or flight” was teaching my daughter about giving and getting consent before touching or invading someone’s personal space. We have been talking about this subject due to several things in the news lately and I was explaining to her if someone disrespects you in anyway stand your ground speak up to not only that person but to others around you that might have witness it. We live in a time where people would rather witness and record than help and fight. I told my daughter to always speak up no matter the consequences or how scared you may be because must fight to be respected and running or “flight” from the problem will not solve it or teach the person to respect you in the future. As an parent also as a adult this “fight vs flight” lesson is hard to teach and even harder to do. How often as adults do, we take “flight” from a situation whether at work, our social life, family or out in the world because we are afraid of the outcome or reaction people will have. We are afraid to stand and fight for what we believe in because we don’t know what the outcome will be or if people will like us for our stand. I am always asked by friends, family members, and coworkers to fight (speak up) for them because I’m very strong willed and opinionated. Having someone fight your battles does nothing for you just teaches people you are weak and that they can take advantage of you when no one is around to fight for you.

We have arrived at this place of not fighting for our cause because the world today teaches us that fighting for what you believe or justice for yourself could cost you your career, money, your social status, your relationship and more. So many people are not willing to lose these things so they will allow people to treat them in any manner to hold on to things that mean so little when you have no respect or dignity. How many times in the media or in your life do you see someone accused of something and before the facts can be given and validated, we condemn them. I have witness people around me fight for what they believe in or fight to take a stand against an injustice just to be treated worst then the person/people that are causing the injustice. The world we live in today people like to believe in who is more popular or who has more social clout or more money. No one cares to wait for facts or evidence it’s like being in High School whoever is the most liked and has the most clout automatically gets the vote of being factual.

As people as mother and fathers as individuals we need to learn to stand our grounds and fight for what we believe in or what we want and teach our children to do the same. This means standing your ground no matter what the circumstance is whether it’s in public, work, social circles, family, religion etc.. We also need to learn to respect others fight. We don’t all have to be the same or believe in the same thing, but we do have to learn to respect others fight. Stop condemning people because you don’t understand, never been through, or can’t understand their fight. Instead try asking questions and learning and try to understand why this person is fighting, why this person feels the way they do, and how did things get to this point. Running (flight) from your problems will only cause more problems and before you realize it your problems are bigger than you can sometimes fight. So, learn to have “Fight vs Flight” in life. Side note the book I read that this thought grew from was “The Darkest Child” by Delores Phillips. It’s a great read and will inspire you to fight and stand for the things that life throws at you.

Have great day and don’t forget to comment, like, follow, and share for more blog posts.

When Active Kids Kill Family Time. How Active is Too Active?
Advice · family · Parent · Uncategorized

When Active Kids Kill Family Time. How Active is Too Active?

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When does having an active kid become bad for family time? Now I know most parents would agree activity is great for kids versus sitting on the couch watching TV or playing video games but where should we draw the line with activity? Now I have a 13-yr old daughter who is very active with sports with everything from Martial Arts to Cheer and many other sports in between but I’m not going to lie its stressful at times and cost a small fortune but just like most parents I look at the benefits not the bad things. So, I started thinking how does the overactive kids effect family time long-term? and is it worth it? So, let’s talk about the pros of active kids

  • Keep kid fit/active
  • develop friendships/social skills
  • keep busy with structured activity
  • helps to develop talents/passions
  • learn to push yourself/discipline
  • help to relive overly energetic kids
  • build self-esteem
  • Improve job/school prospects
  • Learn new skills
  • Helps parents feel good that they are participating in kid’s activity/life

Now as a parent I can agree with all these pros and I can even say most are why I signed my kid up at the young age of 6 for her first sport which was cheer. I had a kid who had exercise induced asthma and I was looking for a way to help build her tolerance to activity without coughing spasms and sports especially outside sports seemed great. I can also agree it made me feel great as a parent that on Saturdays my kid was not just sitting in front of a TV eating snacks and I also was a proud mother every time she succeeded or learned a new skill. All these things are great for her and us as parents it opens up a whole new world for her with sports as she gets older and helps to build friendships outside of school for more social interactions but at what cost? Let discuss what too much activity can do…the cons

  • More friends= more playdates/birthday parties invite
  • poor eating habits
  • strain on family relationships/resources
  • low energy/sleep deprived
  • strain on school (grades, work, social interactions)
  • struggle with verbal and creativity

Now before anyone attacks me and say none of this is true this does not apply to every kid or every family but there are families who have several kids and these children are in several sports and most of this these negative things affect them. I will speak on my family and what the impact of having a kid who participates in multiple sports have on our family. The more sports or activities your kid joins the more friendships he/she will develop. This means more party invites, playdates, sleepover’s, gifts for holidays that need to be purchased and kids you must learn to keep up/interact with their parents. This becomes a job within itself. I can’t tell you how many kids over time I have met along with their parents and can’t remember how I know them or where I know them from. let’s not forget the parents you now have to deal with that you are not fond of but because your kid loves their kid you are instantly linked. Than the eating habits… it’s a lot of eating on the go if you are a busy parent this means a lot of trips to fast food or quick oven meals because you are home either late or leaving very early (kids in weekend recreational sports). So, you are no longer getting many homecooked meals with veggies/fruits just whatever you can feed your kid and you in the car fast or cook within 15min once at home. Yes I know if your kid is active all the carbs are not too bad for them but what about us parents who are just carting them around and sitting and waiting we are the ones losing because we are tired and eating a lot of junk that normally we wouldn’t eat but because we have no time or energy we consume it. Now its bed time and if your kid is like mine they have homework, showers, and bed time routines that now need to be done and we are already late getting home due to a meet or game that ran over or started late so now your kid and you are getting to bed late and rushing through study/homework time. This long term can cause so many issues in families because you are no longer sitting down as a family for dinner or family time so there is no discussing of your day or interactions with friends at school. So, if problems are arising at school socially you are not aware until they are pretty bad. Mom and Dad are having less time together and kids are having less time to just be kids and do things like play, create, think without being told to perform. The kids are having less time with friends or family members outside of their sports/activities because there is practice, games, meetings, etc.. These overactive kids are no longer spending time at Grandparents homes on the weekend, camping, riding bikes, watching Saturday morning cartoons they are too busy with sports and activity to enjoy normal kid activity.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not pulling my kid out of her sports or taking a hiatus but after reading a few articles on this and living it I know that having a very active kid has its pros and cons. In my family we only have one child and both her father, and I have jobs that are flexible enough to fit the activity schedule and still allow time for family time here and there. We try hard to sit as a family at least once or twice a week for dinner. We use the time in the car to and from sports to talk about the school day, friends, work day etc… Most sports are played through school, so we usually have the summer for family time. We try to utilize summer free days the most we can with things like going to the movies, travel and talking with our kid. I say all of this to say active or non-active kids and families need time to just enjoy and relax. Kids should not be required to be so overactive that they are not properly sleeping, eating and having a normal social life. Sports and activities should not be used to babysit your kid this is time for the kid to develop new skills or increase their level of a skills they have already. This is also a great way for social skill building outside of school but when you have a kid who is over worked, tired and agitated this does not work out well and just causes the kid, parents, coaches and team members to become irritated with your child(we have all seen it happen that one kid that no one likes to see show up). So, keep the kids active within their limits and only allow them to do sports and activities they enjoy not what you want them to enjoy. Also keep sports/activity within the family budget don’t go without or take away important things like family vacation to pay for sports/activity because it’s probably not that important to your child. You had your chance to be a kid let them enjoy theirs.

Enjoy your Sunday and don’t forget to Follow, Like and Comment. Love you guys.

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