I’ve been thinking and watching the last few months about how we raise our children. I’m a mother of one. I have a thirteen-year-old daughter who I have watched go from a bubbly baby to a opinionated young lady. I have also watched her friends, kids in sports with her, kids from school and my many nieces and nephews and wonder are we raising our kids right? Now before anyone jumps down my throat about “there is no right or wrong way as long as they are happy” I know and understand this but something has dramatically changed in the youth from the ’80s babies to now(I’m an ’80s baby).The kids of today are rude, uncompassionate, and act as is they are taught noting at home. So to give you background on me I was raised by my grandparents in a middle-class home in a predominantly black neighborhood. I went to private school and public and travel a lot as a kid. I say all of this to say I have been privy to the rich and the poor and a mix of races. So this is not limited to a particular race or class of people. I was raised in a era where we had manners yes sir, no sir, we opened doors for people, we said excuse me when we knocked into someone, and we helped each other.

As I have watched my daughters friend and schoolmates go about their day you very rarely hear manners being used no sir and no ma’am are a thing of the past. They would rather you smack into a door before they hold it for you (most times they don’t notice you because of their phones) and they would rather record a person in need of help than help them. So this starts at home right? So once again are we raising them wrong? I deal with many parents due to my job and I observe the disrespect they allow from their children, the I will do everything and teach nothing attitude, the its OK to have bad behavior “they are just children” and the list goes on.

When did we stop believing that it takes a tribe or village to raise children? It’s not just at home because us as parent cant do it all. Your children go to school 8-9 hours a day and then some go to after-school care for another hour or so. The spend time with grandparent, aunts, uncles and the unlimited sports, playdates and birthday parties. In all those events we cant parent alone. So as parents we have to allow others to be able to discipline, teach, and instruct our children without us being angry about it. I hear from parents all the time “don’t touch my child”, “don’t discipline my child your not their mom or dad”. We can’t do it all you have to allow others to help. What’s wrong with another mother saying too little Johnny “don’t hit it’s not nice”? This can only help improve your child’s behavior to know that I will be discipline no matter where I go and I have rules no matter where I go. So they can grow up to better people. Instead, we are raising kids who are disrespectful to adults outside the home because mom makes it clear he or she better no say anything to you! This allows children to have no boundaries and makes others not want them around. The same parents who say don’t discipline my kid are the same ones mad when little Johnny is not invited to parties, sleepovers, or added to a sports team and wonders why?

Parents it takes a Village to raise children with respect, compassion, drive ,and love for others. We can’t do it alone and we shouldn’t do it alone. Sometimes children need others to reiterate what mom and dad have said or shown at home. We all know kids think parents are never right so to hear it from others sometimes makes it the gospel. Any parents that were raised in the ’80s or earlier please comment in and tell me if I’m wrong on this. I would love to hear what others who are from earlier time periods think.

Have a great Sunday and keep pushing!